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Steven gallery This is a transcribed copy of "Coach Steven". Feel free to edit or add to this page, as long as the information comes directly from the episode.
Previous: "Rose's Room" Next: "Joking Victim"
Speaker Dialogue
[Open Ext. Gem Communication Hub]
(The Gems warp into the Gem Communication Hub.)
Steven *looks up amazed* Woah! What magical place of mystery is this?
Amethyst Well— *tries to explain but gets interrupted by Pearl*
Pearl Oh, I'm so glad you asked! This was once a communication hub for Gem-kind. But lately, *walks over to pillars* it's begun transmitting bursts of electromagnetic interference!
Steven *to Garnet* Whazzat mean?
Garnet *puts hands on hips* It's hurting television.
Steven Noooooooo! I'll save you television! Ha-yah! (Steven tries to damage one of the pillars.)
Amethyst *lifts Steven* Sorry, but we need a Steven at least... (She shapeshifts into a stronger looking Steven with a deeper voice.) THIS strong for this job!
Steven *gasps* It's all the me I could be!
(Amethyst puts Steven down, and attempts to destroy the pillar.)
(Pearl catches a small piece of the pillar punched off by Amethyst.)
Pearl Amethyst, we could be here all day taking out these pillars individually.
Amethyst Ugh, I hate it when you're right. You get this look on your face... *looks at Pearl's face* Yeah, that's the one.
Pearl What we need is a well thought out plan— (Her gem starts to glow to project a hologram.)
(Garnet interrupts.)
[Camera zooms in on Garnet's face]
Garnet No. What we need is Sugilite. Amethyst, fuse with me.
Amethyst & Pearl WHAAAT?!
(Amethyst begins to scream in excitement and Pearl looks confused and angry.)
Amethyst Yeah! Let's mash it up! Bigger, badder, better! Ohohohohoho! *twirls around*
Steven *confused for a while, then asks excitedly* Hold your horses! Are... you guys going to become a Gem Fusion?
(Amethyst replies excitedly with a scream, both Amethyst and Steven scream in excitement.)
Pearl *interrupts* WAIT! *pauses* Garnet, think about this. You and Amethyst can be a little... eheh... unstable when your personalities combine. We need to be careful! Fuse with me, instead.
Garnet *holds Pearl's shoulder* We don't need to be careful. We just need to be huge.
Amethyst Oh, yeah! Let's wreck this joint! *gets into position*
Garnet *gemstones glow* Synchronize.
(Garnet and Amethyst's fusion dance begins.)
Steven (Pearl blushes and covers Steven's eyes.) Wha-? Whu-? Pearrrl... Come on! I wanna see!
(Garnet and Amethyst fusion dance continues, fusing together and forming Sugilite.)
Sugilite Hahahahaha! *laughs and cracks knuckles* I forgot how GREAT it feels to be me!
Steven That's Sugilite?
Sugilite You got it, baby. Hey, Steven. Wanna see something cool?
Steven Yeah!
(Sugilite fuses Garnet's gauntlets and Amethyst's whip, forming her flail.)
Steven *gasps loudly in amazement*
Sugilite You like that, little man?
Steven Are you gonna smash stuff with your wrecking-ball-thingy?
Sugilite That's the plan! Where should I start?
Steven Do that one! *points to a pillar*
(Sugilite proceeds to smash pillars.)
Pearl Steven, I think we should go.
Steven No way! This is awesome!
(Sugilite smashes more pillars, causing debris to fall everywhere. )
Pearl Watch it! *kicks a rock, breaking it in half*
(A small rock hits Steven in the face.)
Pearl Steven! *to Sugilite* Ugh, you're just too much!
Sugilite Maybe you're just too LITTLE!
Pearl Steven, we're going! *picks Steven up*
Steven What? I'm fine! What about Sugilite?
Pearl She can find her own way home!
Steven Awww...
(Pearl and Steven warp away just before a huge rock destroys the Warp Pad.)
[Trans. Int. Big Donut]
Steven 'Sup? (Steven enters the Big Donut wearing sunglasses and a big roll of gauze wrapped around his head.)
Sadie Whoa! Steven, what happened to you?
Steven Oh just a little battle damage from our last mission.
Sadie Really?
Lars Like what?
Steven I got hit by a rock! (Steven takes off his gauze, showing Sadie and Lars a tiny cut.)
(Both Sadie and Lars laugh at Steven's "battle damage".)
Sadie It must not have been a very big rock.
Steven Well... there's... internal... bleeding. My hurt is on the inside!
Lars Toughen UP, Steven!
Steven You're right. I'm soft. *takes long strip of wrapped gauze off*
Lars If I weren't so modest, I'd whip out my sweet six-pack. (Lars struggles to open a can of sardines.) And show you what a real man... looks like! *grunts* (Sadie offers to open the can and opens it with ease and hands it to Lars.) Nah... I'm not gonna say thanks. (Sadie punches Lars's leg.) Aha... aha....
Steven That's it! We all need a workout! Let's do it! Let's workout together! *to Sadie* You can beat up Lars *to Lars* and you don't have to starve to death if Sadie divorces you!
Lars *muffled* We're not MARRIED!
Steven And I know just the guy to help us out.
[Trans. Ext. Beach House]
Steven Wow! This looks great!
Greg Huh? Wha... ? *wakes up from nap*
Steven Hey, dad!
Greg Hey, Steven. You like it? It's the best I can do on such short notice.
Lars *picks up a dumbbell made of cans which falls apart* No kidding.
Greg Well I might join you kids show you how it's done! I've been slacking off on my workout routine for few weeks... months... years... *coughs* decades.
Steven Sure! The more the meatier! Oh! We'll need sweat bands! (Steven runs up to the Beach House.)
(Pearl walks over to the gym.)
Greg Hey Pearl. Come to check out some buff studs?
Pearl (Pearl looks Greg over.) No. *walks up to the Beach House* Steven, what on earth are you up to?
Steven We're starting a gym! *flexes* Imma get supa strong! Like Sugilite!
Pearl You know, maybe this isn't a good idea.
Steven What? I wanna be strong so I can be useful to the team!
Pearl There are different ways of being strong...
Steven But I want to be strong in the real way. Come on, Pearl. *puts on sweatband* Let's get beefy! (Pearl blushes angrily.)
Pearl I'd rather not. *enters the Beach House*
(Pearl sings Strong in the Real Way as she picks up Steven's clothes, and Steven is looking through the window at her. Pearl walks to the window and sees everyone working out, she then pulls down the blinds. After Pearl finishes singing, Steven turns up the volume of his stereo and talks into his megaphone.
Steven Who's ready to get buff ? I don't wanna see your gut, I wanna see your guts!
(He looks up at Pearl, and as they make eye contact she goes back inside. Steven then continues singing the song his own way, finishing with everyone tired from working out.)
Sadie Hey, Steven. Maybe um... you can work out a bit, too?
Steven Uh-huh? I have been.
Lars We've been working out. you've just been singing some dumb song.
Greg But you're doing a great job pumping us up!
Steven Thanks! But I need to get strong, too. I'm switching to four-wheel drive! *puts on four tires and runs around*
[Time Skip—early the next morning]
(Sadie, Lars, and Greg are all waiting outside the Beach House for Steven.)
Sadie Steven, come on! We're ready to get started! We can't work out without your mad coaching skills!
[Trans. Int. Steven's Room]
Steven *groans in pain* Be there in a sec! (Steven proceeds to go down the stairs.) So sore from getting ripped...
Pearl I don't understand. Amethyst and Garnet still aren't back yet. I tried to warp back and check on them, but the Warp Pad's down!
(Suddenly, the ground starts to shake and outside voices can be heard.)
Greg and Lars What?
Sadie Are you seeing this too?!
(The house starts to crumble and debris falls.)
Pearl *ducks* Wha!
Steven Wha—
(Pearl and Steven quickly run out of the house and see Sugilite walking towards them from the ocean.)
Greg What the hey is that?!
(Lars falls off from the "monkey bars".)
Lars Oohoomph!
(Everyone runs away from Sugilite.)
Sugilite *roars* I'M... BORED!!!
Steven It's Sugilite!
Pearl Y-you're back!
Sugilite YOU LEFT ME BEHIND! *points at Pearl*
Pearl We just thought you didn't need any help. Now why don't you separate, and we can all sit down and relax? *gestures over to the Beach House*
Sugilite No! *kicks Pearl*
Steven Pearl!
Pearl Listen to me! You've been fused for too long! You're losing yourselves!
Sugilite I AM MYSELF! AND I'M SICK OF BEING SPLIT UP! So you better get used to me, baby. AND GET THIS JUNK OFF MY BEACH! (Sugilite steps on the gym thus destroying it.)
Steven *struggles over to Pearl* Why is she wrecking Dad's gym? Why is she attacking you?!
Pearl *lifts Steven up and tosses him away* Steven, get out of here!
Steven *stuck limp on the ground* I... can't... move... *moans in pain*
(Pearl summons her spear.)
Sugilite WHAT? YOU WANNA FIGHT?!
Pearl You'll thank me... LATER! *jumps toward Sugilite*
(Sugilite hits Pearl away.)
Greg Come on, kid! *helps Steven to get up*
Steven Dad, no! Pearl!
(Pearl knocks off Sugilite's visor.)
Steven and Greg *gasps*
Sugilite YOU THINK YOU'RE SOMETHING? YOU! *hits Pearl towards the sky* AIN'T! *smashes Pearl into the ground* NOTHING! *injures Pearl*
(Sugilite attempts to crush Pearl with her flail, but misses. This makes Steven and Greg fly away, landing on the ground hardly.)
Steven My muscles!
Pearl Steven! *kneels and cries* I'm sorry... Steven, Garnet, Amethyst... *sniffs* I wasn't strong enough, to protect you. I'm not strong enough to do anything...
Steven (speaking through megaphone) Come on, Pearl! Don't give up! I know you can take her down!
Pearl I can't...
Steven *through megaphone* Yes, you can! Come on! You always knew what to do! You gotta show her what you showed me! That you're strong, Pearl! Strong in the REAL WAY! *cries*
(Pearl gets up and looks at the Crystal Temple, and gains back her confidence.)
Sugilite WHAT? YOU WANT SOME MORE?!
Pearl ANY TIME! You're no match for me! Not even CLOSE!
(Sugilite punches the ground, and chases after Pearl up to the light house.)
Steven GOO!
Sugilite Get back here! (Pearl leaps off the cliff.) [Laughs] Nice try.
(Sugilite starts swinging her flail only to fall after Pearl throws her spear at her footing. Sugilite then crashes to the ground.)
Sugilite Is that all you GOT? You think that's enough to beat—
(Sugilite's flail lands on her head, separating her into Garnet and Amethyst.)
Pearl Amethyst! Garnet! Are you okay!?
Garnet Yeah... Sugilite just overworked our bodies. It's... a little painful.
Amethyst I've got a monster headache.
(Pearl hugs them, and the sound of bones being cracked is heard.)
Amethyst & Garnet *both moan in pain*
Pearl Whoops.
Steven Pearl, you did it!
Pearl Thanks. You make a good coach.
Garnet Pearl, we should've listened... You were right.
Pearl Yeah. I was right.
Steven Go, Pearl!
Pearl Come on! I feel GREAT! Who's up for a MISSION? Or... *continues in the background*
Amethyst How long is she going to keep this up?
Garnet We deserve it. Take it like a Gem.
Lars Uh... What the heck just happened?!
Steven DROP AND GIVE ME 20!
[END]


ve Transcripts
Pilot Pilot
Season 1 A: Gem GlowLaser Light CannonCheeseburger BackpackTogether BreakfastFryboCat FingersBubble BuddiesSerious StevenTiger MillionaireSteven's LionArcade ManiaGiant WomanSo Many BirthdaysLars and the Cool KidsOnion TradeSteven the Sword FighterLion 2: The MovieBeach PartyRose's RoomCoach StevenJoking VictimSteven and the StevensMonster BuddiesAn Indirect KissMirror Gem/Ocean Gem

B: House GuestSpace RaceSecret TeamIsland AdventureKeep Beach City WeirdFusion CuisineGarnet's UniverseWatermelon StevenLion 3: Straight to VideoWarp TourAlone TogetherThe TestFuture VisionOn the RunHorror ClubWinter ForecastMaximum CapacityMarble MadnessRose's ScabbardOpen BookShirt ClubStory for StevenThe MessagePolitical PowerThe Return/Jail Break

Season 2 Full DisclosureJoy RideSay UncleLove LettersReformedSworn to the SwordRising Tides, Crashing SkiesKeeping It TogetherWe Need to TalkChille TidCry for HelpKeystone MotelOnion FriendHistorical FrictionFriend ShipNightmare HospitalSadie's SongCatch and ReleaseWhen it RainsBack to the BarnToo FarThe AnswerSteven's BirthdayIt Could've Been GreatMessage ReceivedLog Date 7 15 2
Season 3 Super Watermelon Island/Gem DrillSame Old WorldBarn MatesHit the DiamondSteven FloatsDrop Beat DadMr. GregToo Short to RideThe New LarsBeach City DriftRestaurant WarsKiki's Pizza Delivery ServiceMonster ReunionAlone at SeaGreg the BabysitterGem HuntCrack the WhipSteven vs. AmethystBismuthBetaEarthlingsBack to the MoonBubbled
Season 4 The Kindergarten KidKnow Your FusionBuddy's BookMindful EducationFuture Boy ZoltronLast One Out of Beach CityOnion GangGem HarvestThree Gems and a BabySteven's DreamAdventures in Light DistortionGem HeistThe ZooThat Will Be AllThe New Crystal GemsStorm in the RoomRocknaldoTiger PhilanthropistRoom for RubyLion 4: Alternate EndingDoug OutThe Good LarsAre You My Dad?I Am My Mom
Season 5 Stuck TogetherThe TrialOff ColorsLars' Head
Shorts The Classroom Gems: What Are Gems?We Are the Crystal GemsThe Classroom Gems: How Are Gems Made?UnboxingThe Classroom Gems: FusionCooking with LionGem KaraokeSteven ReactsVideo ChatSteven's Song Time