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Non-canon
"Don't worry, bro. None of this is canon."
This article contains information on a subject that is not considered canon in Steven Universe.
Steven gallery This is a transcribed copy of "Say Uncle". Feel free to edit or add to this page, as long as the information comes directly from the episode.
Previous: "Joy Ride" Next: "Love Letters"
Speaker Dialogue
(Steven is sitting on the beach.)
Steven *deep inhale* Shield.
(Steven activates his bubble.)
Steven No! Not bubble, shield!
(Steven pops his bubble and throws a little tantrum.)
Steven *looks at his gem* What am I doing wrong? *looks back at Temple* The Gems can all summon their weapons, why can't I? *desperate* Isn't there somebody who can help me?
(An earthquake starts.)
Steven Wha... ? *stands up and looks at the water*
(Steven sees dolphins circling around, creating a whirlpool.)
Steven Wha?! (A giant shell emerges from the vortex of water.)
Steven Wha!? ... Huh? *sees a lot of crabs going to the ocean*
(Dolphins are spitting water up and the shell opens as the camera is zoomed in on "Rose"'s face.)
(Steven sees Uncle Grandpa dressed as Rose Quartz.)
Uncle Grandpa *slowly opens his eyes dramatically*
Steven *stares in awe*
Uncle Grandpa Good morning!
Steven Whoa!
Uncle Grandpa *buried as a sand mermaid* Bravo! *clapping* This guy sure knows how to make an entrance. What do you think Mr. Dolphin?
Mr. Dolphin *squeaks*
Steven Oh my gosh! Uncle Grandpa! You're really here, I can't believe it! I mean, I LITERALLY can't believe it. *excitedly* How is this even possible?!
Uncle Grandpa Don't worry, bro. None of this is canon. But this is! (He puts his head into a cannon and shoots it into Lars and Sadie's ship.)
Lars Oh no-ho-ho-ho! Our shiiiiip! *on verge of dramatic tears*
(Sadie holds on to Lars as the ship sinks with them on it.)
Uncle Grandpa *pokes Steven's stomach* Sooo, I hear your belly's being a bit of a bummer.
Steven Yeah, I've been trying to pull my shield outta my gem all morning.
Uncle Grandpa Hmmm...Well let's take a look-see... *clones himself and gives Steven a check-up* You should make sure to get this thing polished at least twice a year. (He knocks on Steven's gem. Something knocks in response.)
Steven So... do you think you can help me? (Uncle Grandpa puts a tongue depressor in Steven's mouth.) At least I totally wanna protect my friends.
Uncle Grandpa Hmm... Yup, it's the belly blues. I've definitely seen this before.
Steven Really?!
Uncle Grandpa I was there! - Don't you remember?
(Uncle Grandpa plays a flashback of "Gem Glow" with as Uncle Grandpa tries to communicate with him via his own commercial.)
Uncle Grandpa Uh whoa! Hey! It's a brand new cartoon picture show! Hey! Hey! Hi there! Hello? Hey! Good morning?
Steven I don't remember that at all.
Uncle Grandpa So your shield only comes out when you need to protect yourself. *scratches head*
Steven Yeah?
Uncle Grandpa Well then, you just need something to protect yourself FROM! Like this cool mega super awesome rocket launcher! *pulls out a rocket launcher*
Steven Uh... Uncle Grandpa? This doesn't seem safe... *worried*
Uncle Grandpa Don't worry kid, I'm wearing a helmet. *shoots*
Steven *gasps*
(A tiny rocket hits Steven in the forehead, then lands on the ground and explodes.)
Uncle Grandpa Anything?
Steven No...
Uncle Grandpa Then how about a Beezooka? *pulls out a beezooka from Belly Bag*
(Steven runs away screaming.)
Uncle Grandpa Or a Snake Shooter?
(Steven runs away cautiously.)
Uncle Grandpa Or the beezooka again?
(Steven runs away scared.)
Uncle Grandpa Hmm...Still nothin'. *snaps finger* Oh, I know!
(Pearl walks out from the Beach House as Amethyst is seen watching Uncle Grandpa help Steven.)
Pearl Amethyst, have you seen Steven this morning?
Amethyst Yeap. He's hanging out with some weirdo. *points to Uncle Grandpa* I think he's trying to vaporize Steven.
Pearl *freaks out in response* Whagahaha?! STEVEN!
[BOOM]
Steven NOOOO! Not bubble, shield! *claps away his bubble*
Uncle Grandpa Hmmm... I would've sworn the Doomtastic Death Ray of Dastardly Destruction would've worked, You wanna try the bees again?
Gems Steven!
Pearl What's going on?! Who is this... stranger?
Steven He's not a stranger, he's Uncle Grandpa!
(Uncle Grandpa honks his nose twice.)
Amethyst Uncle... Grandpa?
Pearl So that would make him Greg's brother... and father?
Garnet That would explain... a LOT. *folds arms*
Belly Bag Thaaat's right! He's not just your Uncle Grandpa, Steven! (Uncle Grandpa pops his head out into space.) He's everyone in the world's Uncle Grandpa! (The Gems' heads are also brought up to space as the Gems start to get scared.) And when he comes to town, you're sure to have a fun time!
Steven Ahahaha, we're in space!
(All of their heads return to their bodies.)
Pearl *freaking out* O-o-oh, Gimminee?! Yahuhuhahahehehetseyahutsui, Ahu-Aaaw... *faints*
Amethyst Augh! My head is on BACKWAAAAARDS! *runs away*
Garnet *shivers* Woohoohaha...
(Uncle Grandpa fist bumps Steven.)
Garnet Gem huddle!
Pearl Obviously, we're dealing with some super-powerful reality-warping entity.
Garnet He could be a danger to the fabric of space itself!
Amethyst I dunno guys! Hah, I kinda like 'im!
Steven Hey! What are you guys talkin' about?
Uncle Grandpa *butts in* Are you forming a secret club? (Uncle Grandpa's second head joins in.) Can we join too?
Gems Augh! *jump out of huddle*
Pearl Eh-hem, Umm... Uncle Grandpa?
Uncle Grandpa Good morning. *waves*
Pearl Yes, we have decided to-
Uncle Grandpa *playing video games with Steven* Play video games?
Pearl No.
Uncle Grandpa *running around Steven* Run around in circles?
Pearl *starting to get annoyed* Noo.
Uncle Grandpa *eating a three way sub with Amethyst and Steven* Eat a three way sub?
Amethyst Yo.
Pearl *gets mad at Amethyst with crazed eyes* AMETHYST! Eh-hm, no, we have decided-
Garnet That you are a danger to Steven and the planet Earth, and we MUST destroy you!
Steven What?!
Uncle Grandpa *worried* Bad morning!
Steven Wait, no! You guys, don't hurt him!
(Gems summon their weapons as a title card that says "Crystal Gems" appear.)
("Run Away" title card appears.)
Uncle Grandpa Come on, kid! Let's gooo!
Amethyst *trips over the "y" on title card* Whyyyyyy!?
Steven I'm sorry, they're not usually like this!
Uncle Grandpa Quick! Belly Bag, we need a plot hole!
Belly Bag Sure thing, Uncle Grandpa! *releases plot hole*
Steven Where are we?
(Hot Dog Person is seen in space yelling the soundtrack of Uncle Grandpa's theme song as Uncle Grandpa's head is seen over earth saying "Good morning" as the two enter his dimension.)
Uncle Grandpa *laughs* Now where did I put that little kid? Oh yeah! *pulls Steven out from cubby* Good morning! Oh, lemme give you a hand there.
Steven Wow, where am I?
Uncle Grandpa Welcome to the "U.G.R.V."
Steven The... wha?
Uncle Grandpa The "Uncle Grandpa Recreational Vehicle".
Steven Oh, cool! My dad lives in a van too! Did you used to be a rockstar?
Uncle Grandpa I'm STILL a rockstar, kid.
(A second Uncle Grandpa comes in from the back.)
Uncle Grandpa Hey Steven! I'll give ya the tour!
Steven Wow, it's huge! *looks around* You can fit a million vans in here!
Uncle Grandpa *revealing 40-50 miniature vans* Actually, it's more like 40 or 50 vans, see?
Pizza Steve *motorcycling towards Uncle Grandpa and Steven in his mind* Oh, Hey! It's just me, PIZZA STEVE, just the coolest and tastiest Steve, who ever lived.
Steven Hi Pizza Steve, I'm a Steve too! Steven Universe.
Pizza Steve Stee-ven, Universe? *appears on Steven's head* Come on Uncle G, I've got two rules! No more than 40 or 50 vans, and only ONE Steve allowed. *points to self*
Uncle Grandpa Yeah, but THIS Steven is special.
Mr. Gus Yeah, he's a crystal gem.
Uncle Grandpa Good mornin' Mr. Gus.
Mr. Gus What's up, Uncle Grandpa?
Steven Wow, Mr. Gus! How do you know about me?
Mr. Gus I have a comprehensive knowledge of all magical denizens of the multiverse. I know ALL about the crystal gems! Come here man, check this out. *shows them his gemsona* I even made my OWN gemsona. My gem is on my tail, and my weapon is a frying pan.
Uncle Grandpa Nice linework, Mr. Gus.
Steven That's really cool, Mr. Gus! *depressed* I wish I was as cool as your drawing.
Mr. Gus Something wrong?
Uncle Grandpa Steven doesn't know how to summon his shield.
Mr. Gus You don't say? Ah, that's simple. Steven's powers are maternal. (Pizza Steve jumps off of Steven's head and vandalizes Mr. Gus's gemsona.) Control of his gem is based on emotional clarity. His shield only comes out when he's feeling extreme emotions of- *gets interrupted*
Pizza Steve Hey, Mr. Gus,I fixed your drawing. (A poor drawing of Pizza Steve is shown across Mr. Gus's erased gemsona.)
Mr. Gus HEY! - Why didn't you do that on a new layer?! *chases Pizza Steve*
Giant Realistic Flying Tiger *roars*
Uncle Grandpa Oh, hi Giant Realistic Flying Tiger! You got any advice for Steven?
Giant Realistic Flying Tiger *roars*
Uncle Grandpa I'm not gonna tell him that. That only works on cats.
Steven Well... Now what?
Uncle Grandpa We just sit here until something happens.
(A giant Belly Bag attached to a giant Uncle Grandpa sucks them into Giant Belly Bag's stomach.)
Uncle Grandpa Something happened!
Steven Woaaaah, woaaah!
Giant Belly Bag *licks his lips and burps* BURP!
(The Gems are seen running around in the same space looking for an exit.)
Garnet Hoo, there's gotta be someway out here.
Pearl WE'LL NEVER ESCAPE! THIS IS OUR NEW HOOOME!
Garnet Pearl, you're overreacting.
Pearl I'M NOT OVERREACTING! *runs around crazily* GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAEEEEEEEEEEEYYYYYYYYYYYOOOOOUUUUUHHHH....
Amethyst *yawns*
Pearl ... OOUUFF! *crashes into over Amethyst and falls on her*
Amethyst *asks as if annoyed by Pearl on top of her* Hey, where's Steven?
Pizza Steve *walks in wearing Steven's shirt, a curly brown wig resembling Steven's hair, and a fake plastic gem* Looking for me? PIZZA Steven Universe?
Pearl (Pearl's head pops up big, gasps and hides behind Garnet, freaked out.) That's not my baby!
Amethyst Aaaaw, nice!
Pizza Steve *realizes Amethyst has a taste for him* Woah, hold on! *runs away*
Amethyst PIZZAAAA! *chases Pizza Steve*
Pizza Steve Don't eat Pizza Steve! *whines*
Amethyst *eats Pizza Steve* Haump, ngyom, urmgh. *swallows, pulls out Pizza Steve's undigested glasses and wears them*
Garnet Okay, I'm ready for this episode to end.
(Garnet stomps on the floor causing the Plot Hole to crack and break.)
(Steven, Uncle Grandpa, Lion, and Tiger are seen having a tea party along the seashore.)
Uncle Grandpa *sighs* I'm sorry I couldn't help you learn to use your shield, Steven.
Steven It's OK, Uncle Grandpa. I had a lotta fun today.
Gems *armed* STEVEN!
Garnet Get away from that man!
Pearl He's a MONSTER!
Amethyst *hissing and growling*
Steven Hey, cut it out guys. He's done enough already. *gasps*
Uncle Grandpa (Amethyst's whip wraps around him.) Oh, good mornin'!
(The Gems beat up Uncle Grandpa.)
Uncle Grandpa *all beaten up as one of his teeth falls out* That smarts...
Gems FINISH HIIIM!
Steven *as a chibi* No, don't hurt him! *jumps towards Uncle Grandpa after farting* *slow motion* STOOOOP! *gem starts to glow*
(The Gems are surprised.)
Steven Woaw!
(Giant Realistic Flying Tiger's jaw drops.)
Steven *faces Uncle Grandpa* I did it, Uncle Grandpa! I really did it!
Uncle Grandpa Yay...
Pearl Protecting HIM activated Steven's powers?!
Garnet He must really care about this stranger.
Amethyst I hope he didn't care about that pizza... *looks at Pizza Steve's sunglasses*
Steven Listen! It was a big, weird surprise when Uncle Grandpa showed up here today. We've (Uncle Grandpa's ear falls off.) never met anyone like (Uncle Grandpa puts his ear back on.) Uncle Grandpa, but you can't just attack people you don't understand. (Pearl puts hands over mouth and blushes.) You have to stick up for them, and listen (Giant Realistic Flying Tiger and Lion look at each other.) to what they have to say. You guys always do that for me.
Pearl *blushing with tears in her eyes, feeling guilty and sorry* Steven, you're right. *cries* HOW CAN I'VE BEEN SO BLIND!? I'M SO-RREEEEY! AWWWW, AWEEEE!
Amethyst I also apologize for Pearl.
Garnet Thank you, you taught us a valuable lesson, Uncle Grandpa.
Uncle Grandpa Welp, I think my work here is done. Bye bye! (Uncle Grandpa's propeller hat starts spinning, brings Uncle Grandpa's head with it and hovers over Giant Realistic Flying Tiger, which pops Uncle Grandpa's body out.)
Lion *howls* Awrooooo...
Uncle Grandpa Remember kids! Don't be afraid to be super we-e-e-eird! Steven and I have got your back. See with eyes unclouded by hate, and always remember to say... (A big "Good Morning" appears on the sky.) ... GOOD MORNING!
(The Gems are crying.)
Uncle Grandpa Boy, that sure makes my eyes hurt. Now let's see here... *grabs a checklist revealing several other Cartoon Network protagonists* Dexter, Deedee, Blossom, Bubbles, Buttercup, Ed, Edd, Eddy, Billy, Mandy, Mac, Juniper, Swat Kats, Flapjack, Finn, Oh! Steven... now who's next? (Clarence is shown at the bottom of the list.)
[END]
ve Transcripts
Pilot Pilot
Season 1 A: Gem GlowLaser Light CannonCheeseburger BackpackTogether BreakfastFryboCat FingersBubble BuddiesSerious StevenTiger MillionaireSteven's LionArcade ManiaGiant WomanSo Many BirthdaysLars and the Cool KidsOnion TradeSteven the Sword FighterLion 2: The MovieBeach PartyRose's RoomCoach StevenJoking VictimSteven and the StevensMonster BuddiesAn Indirect KissMirror Gem/Ocean Gem

B: House GuestSpace RaceSecret TeamIsland AdventureKeep Beach City WeirdFusion CuisineGarnet's UniverseWatermelon StevenLion 3: Straight to VideoWarp TourAlone TogetherThe TestFuture VisionOn the RunHorror ClubWinter ForecastMaximum CapacityMarble MadnessRose's ScabbardOpen BookShirt ClubStory for StevenThe MessagePolitical PowerThe Return/Jail Break

Season 2 Full DisclosureJoy RideSay UncleLove LettersReformedSworn to the SwordRising Tides, Crashing SkiesKeeping It TogetherWe Need to TalkChille TidCry for HelpKeystone MotelOnion FriendHistorical FrictionFriend ShipNightmare HospitalSadie's SongCatch and ReleaseWhen it RainsBack to the BarnToo FarThe AnswerSteven's BirthdayIt Could've Been GreatMessage ReceivedLog Date 7 15 2
Season 3 Super Watermelon Island/Gem DrillSame Old WorldBarn MatesHit the DiamondSteven FloatsDrop Beat DadMr. GregToo Short to RideThe New LarsBeach City DriftRestaurant WarsKiki's Pizza Delivery ServiceMonster ReunionAlone at SeaGreg the BabysitterGem HuntCrack the WhipSteven vs. AmethystBismuthBetaEarthlingsBack to the MoonBubbled
Season 4 The Kindergarten KidKnow Your FusionBuddy's BookMindful EducationFuture Boy ZoltronLast One Out of Beach CityOnion GangGem HarvestThree Gems and a BabySteven's DreamAdventures in Light DistortionGem HeistThe ZooThat Will Be AllThe New Crystal GemsStorm in the RoomRocknaldoTiger PhilanthropistRoom for RubyLion 4: Alternate EndingDoug OutThe Good LarsAre You My Dad?I Am My Mom
Season 5 Stuck TogetherThe TrialOff ColorsLars' Head
Shorts The Classroom Gems: What Are Gems?We Are the Crystal GemsThe Classroom Gems: How Are Gems Made?UnboxingThe Classroom Gems: FusionCooking with LionGem KaraokeSteven ReactsVideo ChatSteven's Song Time

Start a Discussion Discussions about Say Uncle/Transcript

  • Steven's Cousin

    3 messages
    • No.. She is just saying that out of confusion.
    • [http://uncle-grandpa.wikia.com/wiki/Uncle_Grandpa_(Character) Uncle Grandpa] is everyone's uncle *and* everyone's grandpa. I don...