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Steven gallery This is a transcribed copy of "Steven and the Stevens (episode)". Feel free to edit or add to this page, as long as the information comes directly from the episode.
Previous: "Joking Victim" Next: "Monster Buddies"
Speaker Dialogue
[Open Int. Sea Shrine]
(Steven looks around the Sea Shrine.)
Steven Hey! How about this one here? *looks at the smallest hourglass*
Pearl *walks over to Steven* What one?
Steven This little one... it's adorbable. *makes star eyes*
Pearl Steven, the legendary glass of time won't be nearly so small and insignificant. *walks over to the next hour glass* It'll be beautiful and grand. *looks at a medium-sized hourglass excitedly* *makes diamond eyes* Like this one!
Garnet I think it's this one. *looks up at the largest hour glass*
Steven *looks up* Whoa!
Pearl You mean the biggest one? *echoes* How are even supposed to get that back to the Warp Pad?
Garnet I can carry it. *cracks knuckles*
Pearl *puts hands on Garnet's shoulder* Wait! We need to be careful which one we touch, you remember what happened last time we were here.
Steven What happened?
Amethyst Hey, guys. I'm making the call. *picks up an hourglass* And it's this janky one here!
Pearl Amethyst! (The Sea Shrine begins to shake.)
Amethyst *looks at chosen hourglass* Ugggh... nope, it wasn't.
(Water begins to leak into the temple flooding the place.)
Garnet Look out! (Garnet grabs Steven and dodges the water alongside with Pearl.) We don't have much time.
Pearl *to Amethyst* Amethyst, come on! (Steven runs away from Garnet and Pearl.)
Garnet Steven?
Pearl W-Where do you think you're going?!
Steven Amethyst gets to keep hers!
Amethyst *walks over to the warp pad carrying her chosen hour glass* Darn tootin'!
Steven I'm gonna get the one I picked out. (Steven runs towards the tiny Hourglass.)
Garnet and Pearl Steven!
Steven *picks up the Hourglass* My name's Steven. You're gonna live with me!
Pearl Steven, come on!
Steven Imma comin'! Imma comin'! (A huge wave of water appears behind Steven, causing Pearl to panic when Garnet suddenly shape shifts her arm.)
Garnet Hang on! (Garnet's shapeshifted hand grabs Steven.)
Amethyst *starts to panic* Hurry up! Hurry up! Hurry up!
Garnet *brings Steven back to the warp pad* Gotcha!
Pearl Well done Garnet! *cups hands*
(They warp right before a huge wave engulfs the place.)
[Trans. Int Beach House]
(The Gems warp back with a huge amount of water, soaking the whole place.)
Steven *floats on the water* Hahahah! [Scene moves to Gems being wet and Amethyst swallowing a fish] Hot potato! We're doing that again right?
Pearl Unfortunately *removes seaweed from her hair* ... we'll have to wait another hundred years for the sea shrine to reform because somebody couldn't keep their hands to themselves.
Garnet *to Pearl* You have a lobster on your butt.
Pearl *looks down at her backside* Huh? EEEHHHH! (Amethyst laughs at Pearl.)
Steven (A cat-shaped alarm clocks rings.) Beach-a-Palooza!
Amethyst Beach-a-wah-whooza?
Garnet *holding the octopus that was previously on her head* Palooza. (Pearl looks at the lobster on her butt.)
Steven That was a lot of fun you guys. I'll see you later! After you sir. *opens door for crab* Bye bye!
(Trans. Beach City, Steven is humming as he rides on his scooter to It's a Wash.)
Greg Yep.
Yellowtail *nods* Mmhhmm.
Steven Dad! Dad! You're ready to rehearse? Whoa!
Greg Uhhh, we're having a bit of a day.
Steven Is it stuck?
Greg Yeah.
Steven *looks at the boat* Why does a boat need a car wash?
Yellowtail Hah! huhuhhuh- *walks towards boat*
Greg Sorry buddy, I don't think I can play in the concert tonight. I gotta deal with this.
Steven You're bailing on Beach-a-Palooza? But the whole town's gonna be there!
Greg Steven, that's like 15 people. Next time, bud. I promise. (He walks off and starts talking to Yellowtail as Steven rides away.)
Steven Stupid boat getting all stuck. Nobody likes you, boat! I wish I could've been there to tell my dad you were too fat! (He is interrupted as he's teleported back to when his dad was about to put the boat in the car wash.)
Greg That's it. Just back her in. She'll definitely fit.
Steven What the-? *gasps* Dad! Dad!
Greg Hey shtuball! You excited for Beach-a-Palooza?
Steven Dad, dad, fat, it's fat! Fat, fat fat!
Greg *looks at own stomach* Rude.
Steven Not you! *points to boat* The boat! The boat!
Greg Whoa, whoa whoa! Stop the boat! (The boat stops, as Yellowtail looks out the window, mumbling in question.) Nice catch, Steven.
Steven *pulls the hourglass out of his pocket* *gasps* The thing! You took me back in time, didn't you? Pearl's gonna flip when she finds out you're the real one!
Greg Look, I'm sorry, but the boat's fat. (Yellowtail mumbles something as the car rolls towards the electric pole.) Oh no, your car!
(The car crashes into the pole, knocking it over and lighting the wire on fire, leading it to the roof of It's a Wash, as it explodes and sets the roof on fire, both scream as this happen.)
Greg Gotta save the van!
Steven *with a horrified look on his face* I wish I could go back and stop myself from stopping my dad. (He warps to when he was about to tell his dad the boat's too fat.)
Greg That's it, just back her in, she'll definitely fit.
Steven 2 *warps back from the first wish* What the-? *gasps* Dad! Dad!
(Steven tackles Steven 2 before he could say anything.)
Steven 2 Future Steven?
Steven Listen two-minutes-ago-Steven, we can't go around trying to change time stuff. It just makes things worse.
(Yellowtail's boat gets stuck once more.)
Greg Oh no! How did this happen?
Steven 2 Aw, man! I really wanted to play in Beach-a-Palooza. Too bad you and I can't be in a band.
Steven & Steven 2 Wait a minute!
[Scene goes back to a point where Steven was on his way to see his dad]
Steven & Steven 2 STEVEN!
Steven 3 Steven? ... Steven? What's going on?
Steven No time to explain!
Steven 2 Wanna join our band?!
Steven 3 Yes, but didn't dad say he would play with us?
Steven 2 He had an emergency at the car wash.
Steven 3 We should go help him!
Steven No! There's nothing we can do! The boat's fat, trust us.
Steven 3 Okay... so who's our fourth? We need a drummer.
Steven 2 Not a problem! Steven.
Steven 3 Hey it's the time thingy! (All Stevens go back in time to get the fourth Steven.)
[Trans. Int. Beach House]
(All Stevens are playing the song Steven and the Stevens.)
Steven 2 Hey! Great singing Steven!
Steven Thanks, Steven!
Steven 2 Can I sing lead this time?
Steven Well I usually sing lead vocals when I play with dad.
Steven 2 So do I!
Steven 3 Me too!
Steven 4 Me too too! We all do! We're all Steven!
Steven Well one of us has got to be the band leader... (All Stevens "hmmm" at the same time.)
Steven 4 Oh! The leader should be the original Steven!
All Stevens The one that's been around the longest! Yeah, alright, that's a good idea.
[Scene moves to Steven labeling the other 3 Stevens]
Steven Done and done! Steven 2, you're the smart one, Steven 3, you're the funny one and Steven 4, you're the sensitive one and I'm... the handsome one! Okay?
Steven 2 & Steven 3 Okay!
Steven 4 Okie-dokie artichoke-y!
Steven Steven 4, what are you doing? You're not the funny one. Steven 3 is.
Steven 3 Well we are all the same person so we are equally prone to being hilarious.
Steven No no, that was too smart an observation for you, 3! You're the funny one!
Steven 2 Wait which one am I again?
Steven Dang it, Number 2! You're the smart one!
Steven 4 Hey. If Steven is the handsome one, does that mean the rest of us aren't good looking?
Steven 3 No way! We are all extremely attractive!
Steven 2 Let's go get jobs as models!
Steven Hey! None of you are the handsome one! I'm the handsome one! (All 3 Stevens look sad.) Uh! No I didn't mean! We decided... urgh, lets take five.
All 3 Stevens There's a fifth Steven!?
Steven *irritated* Noooo! I mean a five-minute break!
All 3 Stevens *laughter* We know!
[Trans. Ext. Beach House]
Steven I can't believe it, I'm so... annoying. Maybe it's time for me to quit the music business. (Electrical guitar noise is played, Steven comes inside the house to see all 3 Steven playing rock music.)
(Steven 2, 3, and 4 singing Ste-Ste-Ste-Steven.)
Steven Whoa whoa whoa! What's all this noise? I thought we all agreed that Steven and the Stevens was going to be a light-hearted throw back to early rock and roll, not this mess of screaming into distortion.
Steven 3 Look, Steven. Steven and I were talking, and Steven agrees. Your attitude... just isn't working for us.
Steven 2 We've been a lot more productive without you.
Steven 4 We already wrote an angsty song about the time you made us feel bad for not being handsome.
Steven You're kicking me out of the band?! Wait? Who's playing drums?
Steven 4 Amethyst said she would do it.
Amethyst I'm down for whatever. *twirls drum stick in her hand*
Steven Oh, come on!
(Steven 3 sing Big Fat Zucchini.)
(Steven unplugs their instruments.)
Amethyst Whoa, Dude.
Steven LISTEN UP! You can't kick me out of the band! I'm the original Steven. I created you! Steven and the Stevens was my idea! Without me, you'd all be nothing! *gasps* That's it! (Steven begins to laugh maniacally as he uses the Hourglass.)
All 3 Stevens Steven, no!
[Trans. Beach City]
(Steven goes back to the past to tell the first Steven to not start the band.)
Steven Don't start the band Steven! It will only tear us apart!
All 3 Stevens HA-HA! We all have time things!
Steven You'll never catch me, you turkeys! Ha! *time travels away*
All 3 Stevens We gotta stop me!
(Steven and the other 3 Stevens travel to another time line leaving the past Steven in shock.)
[Trans. Gem Glow]
Steven from Gem Glow I'm okay guys... Huh!?
Steven Too far back!
(All 3 Stevens try to tackle Steven but fail and Gem Glow Steven pukes like he did in Gem Glow.)
[Trans. Rose's Room]
(All 4 Stevens are fighting one another when another group of Stevens appear, the original Steven travels someplace else and the other 3 Stevens tackles the other group only to travel someplace else. Leaving the Steven from Rose's Room to parachute down like he did in the episode. All Stevens travel too far into the future and end up in the episode, Ocean Gem.)
Steven Just take me back to the beginning!
[Trans. Sea Shrine]
Steven from the beginning Amethyst gets to keep hers!
Amethyst Darn tootin'!
Steven from the beginning I'm gonna get the one I picked out. (Steven runs towards the tiny Hourglass.)
Garnet and Pearl Steven!
Steven from the beginning *picks up the Hourglass* My name's Steven... *gets interrupted by future Steven*
Steven Stop right there! Give me the time thing, Steven.
Steven from the beginning Wait, are you future me?
Steven Just hurry up and give it!
(Suddenly all other Stevens start appearing fighting one another.)
Steven Don't make me hurt me, Steven.
Steven from the beginning Why do you need it so bad?
Steven Just give it to me! (Steven struggles with Steven from the beginning for the Hourglass when all other Stevens from alternate timelines start appearing.)
Steven Give it up, Steven! I know everything you're gonna do, before you do it! (Steven manages to get the Hourglass and laughs maniacally once more.) Huh?
(Steven looks down at a frightened Steven from the beginning and then looks at all the other Stevens from different timelines fighting each other. Garnet and Pearl are stunned at the amount of Stevens before them, while Amethyst is busy counting them; "12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19..." Steven then realizes the chaos he has created.)
Steven STOP IT!!!!! (All other Stevens stop fighting each other.) Look around you! This isn't right! (Steven helps Steven from the beginning stand up.) When Steven fights Steven, who is the winner? What have we become? (All other Stevens begin to question themselves.) We are not the Stevens we once were. And to fix that... I HAVE TO END IT! HAAAAA! (Steven smashes the hourglass of time.)
(All the other Stevens then begin to scream and disappear.)
Steven 3 Steven, please! You gotta—AAH!
Steven Steven! Dad can't play Beach-a-Palooza with you. The boat's fat, you gotta find another way!
Steven from the beginning I don't know what you're talking about!
Steven Stay cool forever, Steven. (Steven kisses Steven on the cheek.) Arrivederci. (Steven then screams when he disappears, leaving behind a dumbfounded Steven while water starts to flood into the room in the background.)
[Trans. Ext. Beach City]
(Steven performs Steven and the Crystal Gems at Beach-a-Palooza with the Crystal Gems instead of his father, with several residents of Beach City listening.)
[END]
ve Transcripts
Pilot Pilot
Season 1 A: Gem GlowLaser Light CannonCheeseburger BackpackTogether BreakfastFryboCat FingersBubble BuddiesSerious StevenTiger MillionaireSteven's LionArcade ManiaGiant WomanSo Many BirthdaysLars and the Cool KidsOnion TradeSteven the Sword FighterLion 2: The MovieBeach PartyRose's RoomCoach StevenJoking VictimSteven and the StevensMonster BuddiesAn Indirect KissMirror Gem/Ocean Gem

B: House GuestSpace RaceSecret TeamIsland AdventureKeep Beach City WeirdFusion CuisineGarnet's UniverseWatermelon StevenLion 3: Straight to VideoWarp TourAlone TogetherThe TestFuture VisionOn the RunHorror ClubWinter ForecastMaximum CapacityMarble MadnessRose's ScabbardOpen BookShirt ClubStory for StevenThe MessagePolitical PowerThe Return/Jail Break

Season 2 Full DisclosureJoy RideSay UncleLove LettersReformedSworn to the SwordRising Tides, Crashing SkiesKeeping It TogetherWe Need to TalkChille TidCry for HelpKeystone MotelOnion FriendHistorical FrictionFriend ShipNightmare HospitalSadie's SongCatch and ReleaseWhen it RainsBack to the BarnToo FarThe AnswerSteven's BirthdayIt Could've Been GreatMessage ReceivedLog Date 7 15 2
Season 3 Super Watermelon Island/Gem DrillSame Old WorldBarn MatesHit the DiamondSteven FloatsDrop Beat DadMr. GregToo Short to RideThe New LarsBeach City DriftRestaurant WarsKiki's Pizza Delivery ServiceMonster ReunionAlone at SeaGreg the BabysitterGem HuntCrack the WhipSteven vs. AmethystBismuthBetaEarthlingsBack to the MoonBubbled
Season 4 The Kindergarten KidKnow Your FusionBuddy's BookMindful EducationFuture Boy ZoltronLast One Out of Beach CityOnion GangGem HarvestThree Gems and a BabySteven's DreamAdventures in Light DistortionGem HeistThe ZooThat Will Be AllThe New Crystal GemsStorm in the RoomRocknaldoTiger PhilanthropistRoom for RubyLion 4: Alternate EndingDoug OutThe Good LarsAre You My Dad?I Am My Mom
Season 5 Stuck TogetherThe TrialOff ColorsLars' HeadDewey WinsGemcationRaising the BarnBack to the KindergartenSadie KillerKevin Party
Shorts The Classroom Gems: What Are Gems?We Are the Crystal GemsThe Classroom Gems: How Are Gems Made?UnboxingThe Classroom Gems: FusionCooking with LionGem KaraokeSteven ReactsVideo ChatSteven's Song Time